SUNDAY? please.

so sunday used to be my most favorite day of the week. oh how that has changed. I have decided that i almost hate it. i have no desire to do the uplifting things that i once participated in and find myself feeling even more gloomy. i know if i just went to church and pretended to be happy it all come into place, but really the fool that tells you to "fake it 'til you make it" has never had to fake it. faking it brings even more a sense of helplessness and hopelessness than was there when a person just accepts the fact that maybe this is the way that life is supposed to be. i don't know i could be wrong, but that is how i feel. i will never try to tell someone that it really isn't as bad as we all know it is again in hopes that it will fool the poor soul who wants out of their horrible situation. IT ALWAYS IS AS BAD AS WE THINK. and yes don't get me wrong i know that it could be a million times worse so i am thankful that its only as bad as it is and i don't live someone's life who is unlucky enough to less fortunate than i am at the moment. I know things will get better... but when. I am impatient and don't like the guessing game. so please don't keep me guessing.- A